(((((((((((allgrowedup))))))))))))
I totally understand where you are coming from. I also knew that once you asked that question you were going to get some serious critisism from an animal lover.
I had a Springer Spaniel "Daisy" for 10 years that I got from the SPCA. We loved her until she had to be put to sleep but she had many things about her I knew I did not want in a dog again.
A few weeks after her passing I went to the SPCA and picked out our new family member. I had a check list that I was following so I would make the best choice for our living conditions. The dog had to be older (over a year) because I worked full time and knew I did not have the time to endure the puppy stage of house training and chewing. It had to have short hair, I did not want to spend hours a week bathing and grooming a long haired dog anymore. Short hair dogs are usually cleaner dogs and my back just can't take the bathing of a large dog anymore. Daisy always smelled like a hound dog even after a bath. I wanted a smaller dog, they need less exercise and could get it in the back yard if I didn't have time to walk. I found a short haired terrier I fell in love with. She was smart, well behaved, she pooped in one pile (on the list) and not a hundred little ones (Daisy was a walker). The sign on the cage said she was 1 1/2 years old. This was the dog for me.
Things were great except she liked to CHEW. I got her all kinds of things to keep her teeth busy. I took her in to have her spayed and the vet said this dog is only a little over 6 months old. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! she did'nt look like a puppy. She only chewed when I was gone so a friend lent me a big cage for her to stay in while I was working. The chewing got much worse. I had gotten my new computer that year for Christmas. I have no idea how but she got to a high shelf and ate all the new CDs that went to the computer (encyclopedia etc.) She ate my almost new couch, cords to everything, furniture, christmas ornaments & tree, shoes, clothes & curtains. She could not be trusted when we were home anymore either. She spent much time in her cage and with a muzzle on. This was not what I wanted for her. She was a sweet dog and did not deserve to be caged so much of the day and night.
I was desperate I asked for some help on the internet on a dog forum because if things didn't change fast this dog had to go back to the SPCA. I got reamed. I was a heartless animal hater that had no business having a pet. Frankly that hurt. I was begging for some expert help.
It boils down to........I love pets, I take care of them and am a responsible pet owner but.............pets do not run my life, they are there to enrich it. They do not work hours away from home so they can get better furniture for the family home or new carpet so the family isn't walking on or laying on smelly floors. I work hard for what I have and will not allow that work to be destroyed in a few short minutes of a dogs pleasure/frustration. A dogs frustration does not rank higher then my frustration. I will always win that one. My family and I are top on my pecking order. I also put a price amount on medical care. If a pet is sick I will not pay thousands of dollars to make it better. I can't afford that. My kids health and well being will come before a pets.
To answer your question..........only you know your son. If it were me I would let him know that the dog is not happy living there and you found him a place that would make him/her much happier. Maybe the new people could let you come to visit (if it's close by) so your son can see for himself where he is. He will know the dog is okay and he can visit when he needs to, until he lets go a bit. Then take him to pick out another little brother that can live more easily with your family.
Best of luck to you, I know where you are coming from and can sympathize.
